Because We're Really Not Like That Heh, No STORY DISCONTINUED
by I'veLostMyPride
Summary: With actors like Alfred F. Jones, there's bound to be some bloopers and behind the scene action that we just gotta see as they film the tv series, Hetalia Axis Powers. We also have lots and lots of interviews, because they manage to mess up that many. I swear, I don't know how Ivan managed to break all the cameras in almost all the interviews we've had, but he has. (Kinda Cracky?)
1. Chapter 1

This is like an actor au, it's all going to be small drabbles and such and I may update at erratic times.

Anyways, in which we look at the bloopers and behind the scene action with actors like Alfred F. Jones to Ludwig Beilschmidt as they film the tv series Hetalia Axis Powers!

"LA!" - Talking

 _Huh?_ \- Thinking

Warning: Because these are actors, not nations, their personality is slightly to massively different. Example: Russia isn't exactly ahem, as sadistic and insane because he did not suffer through what the nation did. He is just a normal (CRAZY, CHEERFUL, CHILDISH) man with an abnormal job. Some characters may have the same personality as before, but it's toned down a bit and they're more goofy. Remember that! So in that fashion, I guess it is slightly (Read: Very) cracky with OOC characters. Also, cursing cause they're adults.

...00...00…

When we inexplicably goof off during a Q and A session. Heh. Um yeah. Whoops?

"Question to Ivan from IncidentallyHappy1345. Ivan, can you sing?"

Said man's grin grew and he stood up dramatically. "Can I sing?! Can I sing!? Of course I can, da."

Hearing the many muttered "Oh Shit!" next to him, Alfred stood up and gestured wildly as he yelled. "Action!"

Opening his mouth wide, Ivan yelled. "OH~ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"

Alfred put his hands on his chest and retorted. "Spongebob Squarepants!"

"Absorbant and yellow and porous is he~"

"Spongebob Squarepants!"

"If nautical nonsense be something you wish!"

"Spongebob Squarepants!"

"Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish~"

"Spongebob Squarepants!"

"Ready?"

In unison, the pair screamed madly. "Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants!"

Taking a deep breath, they yelled once more before cackling. "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! HAHAHA~"

They continued to laugh until Arthur smacked them both in the head as he pulled them down to their chairs.

"Shut the bloody hell up! Am I the only sane one here?!"

Alfred whimpered and rubbed his head before he snickered. "Don't worry Iggy, we'll take you over to the dark side!"

Francis piped up to his right. "We have cookies!"

They along with Ivan snickered and snorted until Yao sighed and smacked them over the head once more.

"Why us aru? Why?"

Ludwig cleared his throat before speaking. "Right, moving on. From ThisIsNotADREAM!65 Alfred, do you like anime? And if so, which ones do you like?"

The dorky blonde laughed loudly before he proceeded to ramble on and on about different anime.

"Hahaha! Ya know, I really did like Attack on Titan. Eren was a hero! And so was Naruto from well Naruto. Oh my god! Tokyo ghoul was super duper creepy! I can't believe Kiku told me to watch it, I had nightmares! But it's still really good! Oh hey, speaking of scary things, did you guy see the new-"

Roderich coughed before asking loudly. "Ok, next question!"

Ludwig looked at the phone before scratching his head confusedly. "Er, ja. This is a request. From GettingToKnowYou2. Um, Elizabeta, can you please say very loudly with an excited voice. I don't care, I s-ship it? Huh?"

Elizabeta raised an eyebrow at the request before putting on an excited face. She slammed her hands on the table before her, and with a large grin, she laughed creepily. "I don't care! I ship it! ...Was that good?"

Yao shrugged. "Maybe."

Meanwhile, Francis gaped at her performance. "I get you had to say that, but did you have to laugh so creepily?! You could have just been like. Ehem, Ohonhonhon, I ship it, strongly."

Elizabeta scowled. "Well you didn't have to say it like that! Yours was worse than the way I did it, what's with the seductive voice shit?!"

Francis sniffed in mock offense. "Hmph, well I think-"

Arthur cut him off harshly with a sigh. "Shut it frog."

Said man wailed. "B-But Arthur!"

Arthur growled as he tackled the french man to his left. "I said shut up!"

The two clawed at each other as they rolled on the ground before Ivan and Alfred tore them apart and sat them down on their chairs.

Ludwig shook his head before he switched seats with Francis. Kiku picked up the phone and looked at the next question.

"Ah, this is for Feliciano. From FrukingHell!(SeeWhatIDidThere?), what do you think of your character, because they may all seem goofy and funny, but they also have hidden sides to them."

Feliciano hummed thoughtfully before leaning back in his chair as he opened his mouth to speak. "Ve~ Well, I think that Italy is genuinely happy and oblivious to most things. However, he tends to hide secrets to keep people close to him. That's probably because he was taken away from others as a child and so he would hide secrets so that other countries would stay with him."

Alfred stared at him with a confused look. "Wait what?"

Feliciano sighed. "Italy can fight and he was able to stand up to Turkey once. However, I'm pretty sure he hides the fact that he's good at fencing from Germany because he doesn't want Germany to leave him."

Arthur tilted his head as he contemplated the thought. "Huh. I guess that makes sense."

Clapping his hands together, Ivan looked at the camera sadly. "Alright, that's all for now. We'll see you later da."

...00...00...

Translation:

Ja (German)- Yes

Da (Russian)- Yes

Who was at the Q and A session?

America- Alfred F. Jones

England- Arthur Kirkland

France- Francis Bonnefoy

Russia- Ivan Braginsky

China- Yao Wang

Germany- Ludwig Beilschmidt

North Italy- Feliciano Vargas

Japan- Kiku Honda

Austria- Roderich Edelstein

Hungary- Elizabeta Héderváry


	2. Chapter 2

"LA!" - Talking

 _Huh?_ \- Thinking

Warning: Cracky, OOC characters.

...00..00...

In which Russia is gay and Belarus has a short existential crisis

The door strained under the force of the woman's nails as she clawed at the wood.

"Big brother! Come out, marry me, marry me, marry me!"

In the dark room, Russia huddled into a ball and shrieked back desperately.

"Go home. Leave me alone!"

To the man's despair, the door fell down with a loud boom. A figure glided towards him and he shrank back.

"Big brother, that annoying door is gone. Now we can get married! Married, married, married."

In desperation, Russia yelled out. "Wait! I'm gay! I don't like women!"

Alfred, who was sitting on a chair out of the camera's view, piped up. "Yeah! He's gay for me!"

Ivan smiled nervously. "Uhuh," he then adorned a ridiculous face and added with a sappy voice. "Ever since the 1800's, his beauty has astounded me. Oh America!"

Alfred raced up to him with his arms open. "Ivan- I mean uh, Russia!"

The two embraced each other with dorky grins and dramatic sobbing.

"I missed you my love!"

"Me too! I love you so much."

Ivan giggled before burying his nose in Alfred's hair. He smelled like vanilla and...pickles?

The smile that had stayed frozen on Natalia's face slowly melted into a heartbroken frown.

"What is this? What is the point of living!?"

She dramatically whipped out the (fake) knives from under her skirt and pressed them against her neck. Tears streamed down her face and she wailed.

"Why!?"

She collapsed to her knees and proceeded to sob helplessly.

"If big brother cannot love me, then there is no point in existing! Waaah!"

She gripped her hair and stared at a wall with haunted eyes before a voice cut off her monologuing.

"Really!? I leave for five minutes and you mess this up!? Seriously, you're all hopeless! Alright, cut!"

Ivan and Alfred cackled mischievously as the director stared at them with annoyance.

"This is the fifth time today-"

"Actually sixth!"

"Shut it Alfred. Guys, are you having an off day?" He sighed and shook his head. "Anyways, we'll take a break."

The pair before him cheered before racing off to have ice cream. Turning away, he faced Natalia.

"W-Why are you on the floor?"

Natalia smiled innocently. "No reason...I was inspecting the carpet!"

"What?"

She stood and brushed off the dust on her dress before skipping away.

...00...00…

Just some random stuff.


	3. Chapter 3

"LA!" - Talking

Huh? - Thinking

Warning: Cracky, OOC characters. Cursing

...00...00…

Did I forget to mention that, ahem...We never said any of us were sane?

The refrigerator door shut with a loud bang and Ludwig turned away from machine with a large frown.

"W-Where's the pudding? ...Where did my chocolate pudding go!?"

Unfortunately for Yao, he happened to walk into the room as Ludwig was having his meltdown. The german man whipped around to face the other man.

Ludwig growled at the man. "Where did my pudding go!?"

Yao blanched at the glare and stepped back nervously. "Now, how about we talk about this like normal people aru?"

Ludwig's eyebrows rose at the words and he assumed the worse...Yao ate his pudding. The man charged and thus, Yao did the reasonable thing, he ran. Skidding around the corner, he looked back and yelped in fear. Ludwig was closing in on him. They sped past Arthur as the man walked by with an armload of papers. Unfortunately, the speed at which they ran caused a breeze that made all the papers fly.

Arthur squawked angrily. "I just organized that!"

The chinese man rounded past Francis ("Ahh! You made me spill my water on that pretty girl!", "Who are you calling girl!?", "You're not a girl!?", "I'm a boy you bastard!") and opened a random door and panted loudly before he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Ivan? What are you doing here?!"

The russian looked at the man with incredulity. "This is the lounge, why would I not be here?"

Just as the man was about to respond, the door bursted open. Yao squeaked in fear before turning to Ivan.

"Help me! I don't want to die like this aru!"

Ivan walked out of the other door with a look of fear.

"You're on your own."

As he walked away, he turned back and whimpered. Yao had run through the door and in his direction...with Ludwig still chasing him.

Ivan's face twisted with fear. "Holy shit! Why did you go this way!?"

The two ran from Ludwig, or rather, Ivan ran from Yao and Yao ran from Ludwig.

They raced away, through the twists and turns they made, they managed to make it back to the snack room.

...00...00...

Alfred sighed in relief as he checked the refrigerator.

"My pudding is still there!"

He turned just as the door bursted open and Ivan skidded to a halt in front of him. The russian hid behind him.

"Help, they're crazy!"

Alfred looked at him confusedly. "Huh?"

The door bursted open again to reveal Yao and Ludwig.

Ludwig cackled manically. "Now, where is my pudding!?"

The chinese man flailed helplessly. "I don't know!"

A strangled noise escaped Alfred's throat.

"Ohmigod, Ludwigs gonna kill him. I gotta save him!"

Ivan stared at the man with disbelief.

"What!? You're crazy," he looked away as he mumbled, "And that's so hot."

Alfred frowned and turned to him. "Huh? You say something?"

Ivan flailed nervously. "Wh-What?! Nothing!"

Alfred turned back to the two men arguing and sighed dramatically.

Striking a pose, he said with a tearful voice. "Wish me luck."

...00...00...

The german continued to shake the other man by the shoulders until someone tapped his arm.

Alfred piped up cheerfully. "Um, if you want, you can have my pudding?"

At the suggestion, Ludwig turned to the american hopefully.

"Really?"

Alfred could swear he saw sparkles in the man's eyes and a tail wagging back and forth.

Alfred nodded with a smile. "Yeah!"

And all was well.

Of course, everybody learned never to mess with Ludwig's pudding.

Meanwhile…

Feliciano leaned back against the chair with a satisfied smile.

"I'm sure Ludwig won't mind…" He mumbled and dug into the chocolate pudding.


End file.
